Confidence is a gift we all want to give our children. It’s the kind that allows them to face challenges, believe in themselves, and persevere when life gets tough. But confidence isn’t something that magically appears—it’s built through small, consistent wins, practice, and loving encouragement.

One of the most impactful ways to nurture confidence is by helping your child set and achieve simple goals, particularly in areas where they may struggle, like building friendships in the offline world.

Why Building Confidence Matters

Confidence isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about knowing you can take on challenges and succeed. When kids experience even small successes, it reinforces their belief in their abilities.

This is especially important in areas where they may feel unsure, such as making friends outside of online gaming. By helping them translate their digital social skills into real-world connections, you’re giving them tools that will serve them for life.

How to Help Your Child Build Confidence

Here’s a step-by-step approach to fostering confidence and social growth:

1. Acknowledge Their Current Strengths

For many pre-teens, making friends online through gaming or social media feels easier and safer than face-to-face interactions. Recognize and validate their ability to build these connections—it’s a skill worth celebrating.

For example, say:
"You’ve done such a great job building friendships online. That shows me how good you are at connecting with people!"

Acknowledging their current strengths helps them feel seen and appreciated, creating a positive foundation for growth.

2. Set a Realistic Goal

Start small and set a manageable goal. For example:

• Invite one classmate to join them for a snack.
• Ask a neighbor to play a game together.
• Say hi to a new peer at school or join a lunch group.

By setting goals that are achievable and not overwhelming, you’re giving your child an opportunity to take a meaningful step forward.

3. Celebrate the Effort

Confidence grows when children see their efforts being noticed and appreciated. Whether or not the outcome is perfect, praise the courage it took for them to try.

For instance, say:
"I know it wasn’t easy to ask your classmate to hang out, but I’m so proud of you for trying. How did it feel to take that step?"

This reflection helps them recognize their progress and build pride in their actions.

4. Encourage Reflection

After your child takes a step, help them reflect on the experience. You might ask:

• “What was fun about spending time with them?”
• “What would you like to do next time?”

By focusing on what went well and encouraging them to think ahead, you help them view the experience as a positive, ongoing process.

One Simple Tip to Try This Week

Encourage your child to make one small gesture toward building an in-person friendship. It could be as simple as:

• Asking a classmate to join them for lunch.
• Saying hi to a peer in the hallway.
• Joining a group activity or club after school.

Praise their effort no matter the outcome—each step forward builds their confidence.

What Happens When You Do This?

By taking these small, intentional steps, your child will begin to see their own ability to connect with others in meaningful ways. They’ll feel less dependent on technology for friendships and more confident in face-to-face interactions.

While this process won’t happen overnight, each small victory adds up. With your encouragement and guidance, your child will develop the social confidence they need to navigate the world with resilience and self-assurance.

Final Thoughts

Building confidence is a gradual journey, especially for kids who feel more comfortable in online environments. By acknowledging their strengths, setting realistic goals, and celebrating their efforts, you can help your child take meaningful steps toward creating real-world connections.

Let’s work together to nurture confident, socially capable children. Share your own tips or stories in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re building confidence in your family!