Have you ever had that moment where the temper tantrum won the battle? And who ever said that they end at the “terrible twos”?

Adults, teens, tweens, and kids still have them—we just don’t throw ourselves on the floor anymore. From a young age, we learn tactics to get our way. Your child is no different. For example, your child quickly learned what pushes your buttons. Embarrassment is huge! How many times have you wished your child would just stop? I mean, everyone is watching. People are judging. So what do you do? You give in. Here’s the iPad, or yes, you can have the ice cream, or whatever they want at that moment.

This scenario is all too common, especially when it comes to screen time. You’re out in public, and your child demands the iPad or your phone. You know it isn’t good for them, but you feel trapped because you’ve created this habit. You’re coping by handing over the device, but deep down, you know this isn’t a healthy pattern.

So how do you untangle yourself from this cycle? This is not the time to give in, but you don’t have to be frustrated either. If it has been going on for a while, just know that subconsciously your child knows this is how to get what they want because that’s the established pattern.

Here are three tips to help you handle these moments:

1. Take the Upset Outside

There’s no reason to stay in an uncomfortable position. Don’t be mad about it—it's just a parenting moment. Moving outside can help diffuse the situation and remove the audience that adds to the pressure. A change of scenery often calms both you and your child.

2. Assess the Situation

You know your child best. Can you calm the situation, or do you need to go home? It’s okay to leave. You don’t have to blame your child. If it’s a choice between resenting your child’s behavior or just leaving, then leave. Removing yourselves from the situation can prevent further escalation and give you both a chance to reset.

3. Communicate the Change

This should probably be the first step. When you decide to change things up, you need to let your child know. Say something like, “I know when you do [specific behavior], you get your way. This upsets me. We can do better. So we won’t be doing it that way anymore.” Clear communication sets expectations and helps your child understand that the old patterns are no longer acceptable.

Specifically for screen time, you might say, “I know when you ask for the iPad in public, you usually get it. This is not good for you or me. From now on, we’ll find other ways to keep busy when we’re out.”

By taking these steps, you can begin to untangle yourself from the cycle of giving in to temper tantrums and set a new course for more peaceful and respectful interactions with your child. Breaking the habit of using screen time as a quick fix won’t be easy, but with patience and consistency, you can make a positive change.