Do you Count the Summers? How Many are Left?

Household chores don’t have to be a battle. 

Children naturally want to contribute.  This biggest problem I have observed with families is that the parents do it all.  As the children get older, they want help, but the children have been raised with Mom and Dad doing everything.  By the time the children are older, when they are asked to help, they no longer desire to contribute.  It becomes a battle. 

Starting young and having jobs that develop a child’s sense of belonging is key to growing up.  Not everyone has done this, so what next?  Communication is most important at this point. You can let your child know that you made a parenting mistake.  Even telling them that you stopped their contribution and that was wrong, can make a world of difference. 

Let your child know that this is part of growing up and becoming an adult.  It is quite possibly (or very likely) you will be met with resistance.  This is where your persuasion and even rewards are needed.  Defaulting to threats won’t work, i.e. “If you don’t do the dishes, you don’t get to go out.”  You would change that sentence to, “Let me know when the dishes are done and then you can go out.”

Follow through with your word, but make sure you keep the mindset that you are training your child to become an adult.  If you are undoing bad habits, then this is not going to be an overnight process.  Take the responsibility necessary to know that you created the problem so that you can fix it without losing your cool. 

Key Points:

Family Dinners: Divide out the tasks, setting and clearing the table, food prep & cook, clean the dishes & put them away. Share meals together. It's a time to connect and discuss the day's events.

Game Nights: Play games as a family. It fosters teamwork and fun. Make sure that during game night everyone has their own task.  You can have one make the popcorn or layout the snacks while the other sets up the table with the game, etc.

Weekend Outings: Plan outings to create shared memories. It can be as simple as a walk in the park or a visit to a museum. Create small tasks that are geared toward this fun day.  If it’s a walk then each person grabs their water bottles or if pets are coming, grab the leashes, doggy bags and water.

Weekday Outings: If you can, schedule a hooky day with your kid.  This is great way of making a memory.  It is a little naughty, which kids love, and if you have multiple children, it’s a fantastic way to spend time with just one.