How to Help Your Pre-Teen Build Confidence in Real-Life Social Skills

In today’s digital world, many pre-teens feel more comfortable making friends online through gaming or social media. While these virtual friendships can be valuable, parents often worry about their child's ability to build real-life social skills. With the right guidance, you can help your child gain the confidence to make friendships in person.

In this article, we’ll explore practical tips on how to encourage your pre-teen to step out from behind the screen and develop in-person social skills.

Acknowledge Their Strengths

Before diving into real-life social skills, it’s important to recognize your child’s strengths in the digital world. Online gaming and social media require communication and relationship-building, too. By acknowledging their existing social skills, you set the foundation for expanding those skills into face-to-face interactions.

For example, if your child enjoys chatting with online friends during gaming, say something like: “You’ve built some great connections online! Let’s think about how we can use those skills to make friends at school or in the neighborhood.”

This approach helps your pre-teen feel confident about their current abilities and prepares them for the next step—building in-person friendships.

Set a Realistic Goal for Socializing

Encouraging your pre-teen to form real-life friendships starts with setting a small, manageable goal. Instead of overwhelming them with expectations, focus on one simple task, like inviting a classmate to hang out.

Maybe they can ask a friend to play a video game in person, meet at a park, or have a quick snack after school. These small steps help bridge the gap between online socialization and real-world interaction.

The goal is to ease your child into face-to-face friendships without pressure, creating positive experiences that build confidence.

Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcomes

When your child makes an effort to build real-life social skills, celebrate it—whether the outcome was perfect or not. Trying is what matters. For example, if your child invites a classmate to hang out but the plans don’t go smoothly, praise the courage it took to ask: “I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there. That was brave!”

Celebrating the effort rather than focusing on results reinforces your child’s confidence to try again. As they make more attempts, they’ll begin to see success.

Simple Social Skills Challenge for Your Pre-Teen

Encourage your pre-teen to take one small step toward in-person socializing this week. Whether it’s inviting a peer to lunch, starting a conversation with a new classmate, or just saying “hi,” each step contributes to building confidence.

Afterward, praise their courage. Highlight that trying new things is part of growing.

Why Building Real-Life Social Skills Matters

As your child becomes more confident in face-to-face interactions, they’ll feel less reliant on technology for friendships. The more they practice in-person social skills, the easier and more natural these interactions will become. Over time, your child will develop a balance between online and real-world social connections.

Helping your pre-teen develop confidence in real-life social skills is a process, but with patience, small steps, and lots of encouragement, they’ll thrive in both their online and offline worlds. Start small, celebrate each win, and support them in their journey to form meaningful connections beyond the screen.

By guiding them through this process, you’re helping them develop critical social skills that will benefit them throughout life.