The Mommy Meltdown: Coping with Overwhelm

We all know that being a parent is a rewarding journey, but it can also be incredibly challenging at times.

I will never forget what I would forever after call "the lemon yogurt experience." Tensions were running high, my husband was away and my boys being 15 months age difference had me running on little to no sleep.  I don't remember exactly what triggered it, but I admit, it wasn't my proudest moment.  I had put the boys in bed and in my frustration, threw the lunch box.  Unbeknownst to me there was an open container of lemon yogurt, this became a "Jackson Pollack" in my living room.  As I was regrettably cleaning the walls, I thought to myself, never again will I lose my composure like I did that day.  I started to formulate my policies as a mother that I would lean on during times of stress and over-stimulation. 

I cannot say that I never had a mommy meltdown again, but I can say that I never had to deal with such an out of control situation with myself.  I have many conversations with parents who had similar stories.  Here are some ideas to be able to navigate these moments with compassion, both for yourself and your children.  

Recognizing the Signs:

A Mommy Meltdown often happens when we're overwhelmed, tired, or feeling stretched thin. It's crucial to recognize the signs of impending stress and take proactive steps to manage it.

Taking a Time-Out:

When you find yourself on the brink of a meltdown, it's okay to take a step back. The same goes for your children. If tensions are running high, encourage them to go to their rooms or find a quiet space to cool off. You can do the same by retreating to your room, car, or any place where you can have a moment to yourself.

Resetting with Music:

Turning on some of your favorite music during your time-out can help shift the atmosphere and give everyone a chance to regain composure. Music has a powerful impact on our emotions and can create a more relaxed atmosphere. Even if the situation hasn't yet been resolved, listening to music and dancing around the house is a totally acceptable way of coping.  You can later on have a family discussion about the behaviors or problems that occurred earlier.  

Avoid Immediate Communication:

It's important not to try to communicate during the height of the meltdown. Emotions are running high, and this is not the time for constructive conversations. Let everyone have their space to cool down.

Reflect on Your Actions:

After taking your time-out and regaining composure, it's essential to reflect on what happened. Acknowledge any mistakes in communication or actions, and be open to discussing them with your children.

Communication goes both ways:

When it comes time to talk, remember that communication is a two-way street. Avoid focusing solely on what your children did wrong. Instead, create a safe space where they can express their feelings and thoughts. This sets an example of open communication and allows them to take responsibility for their actions. I'll never forget the day I told my four-year old that he needed to have better communication after we had a total breakdown of communication.  He responded, "when you get your communication handled, I will handle mine."  He was actually right!

Modeling Behavior:

Children often mirror the behavior they see in their parents. If you "stand your ground" without considering their perspective, they may do the same. By admitting your own mistakes and reflecting on your actions, you teach them the importance of self-awareness and growth.

Applying It to Relationships:

Remember, this approach applies not only to parent-child relationships but also to all relationships, including marriage. "Meltdowns" can happen in any close connection. Taking time-outs, practicing reflection, and fostering two-way communication can help repair and strengthen bonds.

The "Mommy Meltdown" is a common experience, and it's okay to take a step back when emotions run high. By modeling self-awareness, compassion, and open communication, we can turn these challenging moments into opportunities for growth and understanding within our families and relationships.